Weight
Before I begin today's post, I want to let you know that I have entered "crunch-time" in studying for the bar. Wish me luck!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A while back, Yuter blogged about the IY"H phenomenon. He wondered why it was acceptable to say "IY"H by you" to someone unmarried but not OK to say the same to those married without children. You can read the post here.
I want to apply that same analysis to weight. Whether you like it or not, we, as a society, have progressed to the point where it is no longer appropriate to comment on someone's being overweight. For some reason, it is still apropos to mention/comment on someone's weight if they are thin. This doesn't really bother me much but why do people assume that thin people don't have some of the same (albeit inverse) problems with food that overweight people have? You can say what you want to me so long as you are prepared to discuss weight issues in general (forewarned is forearmed) but if you meet other thin people please think twice before you tell them that they should eat more.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A while back, Yuter blogged about the IY"H phenomenon. He wondered why it was acceptable to say "IY"H by you" to someone unmarried but not OK to say the same to those married without children. You can read the post here.
I want to apply that same analysis to weight. Whether you like it or not, we, as a society, have progressed to the point where it is no longer appropriate to comment on someone's being overweight. For some reason, it is still apropos to mention/comment on someone's weight if they are thin. This doesn't really bother me much but why do people assume that thin people don't have some of the same (albeit inverse) problems with food that overweight people have? You can say what you want to me so long as you are prepared to discuss weight issues in general (forewarned is forearmed) but if you meet other thin people please think twice before you tell them that they should eat more.
posted by jacob at 6:59 AM
5 Comments:
By extension it also applies to all physical appearances. For example, "I love your hair, you look so good!" implies that beforehand you didn't. I would think it's much more appropriate to simply say, "I like the new look" - indicating an appreciation of the present without implying something bad about the past.
Weight is a little more complicated in that it's very noticable and people often actively try to lose weight often with little success. Also remember that for many people weight isn't simply a matter of looking good, but of improving one's health (be it medically mandated or otherwise). By noticing someone lost weight you could be giving positive reinforcement to an overall healthy lifestyle.
I think obesity is a very complex phenomenon involving metabolism, stress, diet, exercise, economics, etc. It is very difficult for someone who is predisposed to be on the heavier end of the weight distrobution to cut their weight.
That being said, society has become concerned about eating disorders, which seem to have more accute causes, and thus (possibly) more direct solutions. Randomly remarking the obvious (Wow man, you're so tall) has never been polite, to my knowledge.
Miriam called me fat this weekend and I thanked her for it, btw ;)
i agree that it's inappropriate to comment on/give advice regarding people's body types (=weight, often), unless you have the sort of relationship with them in which you would comment on the size of their nose. (eg, they are your sibling and you are 9 years old. or they are your spouse and you are annoying...)
that said, remarking on changes of weight in either direction can be appropriate in some contexts as an expression of concern. so i called zev fat once, but if he stays fat i won't comment again ;)
If you don't feel comfortable criticising someone's weight, a good way to get around your discomfort is to criticize his/her mother's weight.
If you're uncomfortable criticizing someone's weight, try criticizing his/her mother's weight.
Post a Comment
<< Home